Once upon a time there was a mighty seagull, fairly white and barely bald. It had great wings, a hard beak and feathers you could only set fire to if you first drenched them in turpentine.

But all was not well for the seagull. Yes, that's right, there were rogues about, and their plan was to steal the seagull's treasures, eat his spawns and befeather him. Not very nice at all.

But what could the seagull do? His cellphone wasn't charged, nor was his plasma gun, and all his friends had left earlier for a party at the beach. He sincerely wished that he would have joined them, but now it was too late. The rogues were about.

He shuddered as he saw them coming towards him, and without thinking he stepped on the gas. He reached a decent speed soon enough, but as he swiftly peeked at the rear-view mirror, he saw that the rogues were gaining on him. His heart sank, and his fear grew worse. What was he to do?

When the rogues had reached him, he trembled in fear, and as the rogues borded, tears started to flow down his face, wetting his flamecoloured beak.

The rogues were shouting things like "Let's keelhaul him!", "Let's give him the crab box!", "That's a shiny boat, and no mistake!", "Let's make him walk the plank!", "Shiver my timbers!", "Hey, what are we, pirates?", "Shut up, you!" and "Let's club him like a baby seal!". This was all too much for the seagull, and his basic instincts took over, and he flew away.

The rogues watched him as he became smaller and smaller, until he was no more then a dot in the sky.

"Dang," one said. "That always happens."

Then they turned their boat around and went home.