I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know where I want it to lead. I avoid big decisions. In life I've basically just made two decision ever. Both was about education. The last one was just so I wouldn't have to care for another 4.5 years. There's two years left until the decision I made there is 'over'. But now I sit here wondering wherever it all will lead. I have no idea how I want to live my life. One moment I think I'd like it in some way, another moment I think something completely different. And I just don't do anything. I just sit around. Sure I study, that's what the decision I made was, and I don't have anything else to do. But in the time when I don't study, I just sit. Staring at this screen mostly, avoiding everything. Shut in. Sometimes I program things for fun. Sometimes I write things for fun. I talk to people. I try to keep myself amused. But I don't deal with normal everyday problems. I mean, for example I still don't have a driver's license. I never got around bothering, yet it wouldn't be difficult at all. I actually would have the time, if I didn't spend it just being lost. It's like I'm not motivated to do anything. I don't have anything to do it for. I could do it for me, but I don't care. I can live with whatever I end up not doing. I mean, it's just me. If it serves me bad, than that's just my own fault, so no worries. But it leads down to that I don't get anywhere. I never, ever, had a job. I never worked. I never had too. I've never been motivated to. So I lack that experience. I never travelled far. I've never been outside Scandinavia, and just barely outside Sweden. I never had a reason, never had a motivation. Maybe it would be fun, interesting, rewarding to travel. But it's not happening. I could blame a lot of things that don't happen on me not having much money, but nothing stops me from actually earning money if I worked. Only I don't. There's stuff I like that I don't often do. Like, I like taking walks, but I rarely do. As with so many other stuff, it just don't happen, I just sit here. But what's the deal with this crappy text, is it just to pity myself? No, I don't really. I don't know. I just felt like writing this. Just stating it in text, before myself seeing that at least I'm aware of what I do. Or don't. I'm boring, unless I have a reason not to. I'm lazy, unless I have a reason not to. I just don't care about anything much, unless I have a reason to. I have a reason to study, because it's what I do, I made a decision, and there's and end to it that's reasonable. But then what, and what are the studies for? It's just something I do. It's stupid. This is stupid. But then, this is supposed to be... Well, wasn't that a crappy punchline.